The time is nineteen thirty five. I failed and I am happy to fail this time. My thought was so much and I event can’t say what i am going to do but I act for this minute. I call to my manager literally he canceled the call. Thank you if he pick the phone i would react in other way. I am leaving this stuff all the back and I had grabbed my passport. I am sharing the right expression of right now. I literally ready for everything but I’m failure I cannot go with my heart. I want to reach with infront of her in next twelve hours but I couldn’t react and accept it. My heart already travels there and meet her and I am failure. The meeting is good but after some time what to say and what to do. I am not supposed to be there. All the surprise are good till for a moment. I am failure and I fails here. But I should be happy. When my visualization reaches to my wife. The truth can be whatsoever she will surely cry so much and it was the moment but this cannot support family I give them happy for moment but after that the same pain that i give before coming here. So the simple thing is just call her. But I am not calling her either not my family. This is my huge failure. I am happy with my failure. Today is day I am getting myself. My new journey and again another journey start. The father of two kids. Now what is the positiveness learned from it. It is now I have finally disarranged my things now I arrange the thing I think so much now its time to act. I will finally call my family. But the still is I am not happy with myself. The only person who trouble myself is me myself. I don’;t have to think this must just act accordingly. It is so much difficult to express the things now simple as previous. Ask question within myself.
What makes me heavier. The thing that makes me heavier is I supposed to be physically their with them rather to be call in online. Ok then other what is my other thing. No thing so any confusion -no . Now can I call still no. Why this is me what is me. Still the same. But how about the positivity that I start by this journey. This new chapter of my life. Now i am spreading happiness and humanity then why I cannot. I cannot because now I am enjoying the moment within myself I am enjoying the blogging the moment I call I am diverted so much. One incident move to another and another again same when I call to them I want to reach there at any how then again i start packing and again my whole night would be the same and this is not what I want.
Look what a simple thing I am messing and making big issue. Ok what can I do next nothing just call and support her she wants me. Ok then I am ready to call then after I want to go there who stop me because I have to stay here for them and their future. No body wants me there why because right now I am supposing this. This is the negativity I am with my myself ok then Now I understand. Lets make it simple. Think simply and be positive. It is the matter of sec to call them and talk but also I am not doing because I am explaining my reason I am busy with myself. The moment I stop typing i call them but right now my finger are not stoping typing. This is now another reason Lets deep again what are the possible reason. Now I am enjoying more and more. I am laughing myself also my finger is not stoping and I literally forget the title of this topic also. This may be the happiness of being father again.I am the one saying laugh when I can then now I am not calling them. What is the reason.
The reason is look what I suppose is sometimes i feel regreat to why don’t I have started it before. Why not typing yesterday, why not taking leave and enjoy this moment and If i continue this way the whole things I reach nowhere I lost. What I believe is that accept the happening. This is the reason I am so much confidence and sometimes it backfires me. What I am going to say is that do the good things and good deeds every possible time. Good deeds, Good karma returns good. The happiness I am feeling right now, the well being of my wife and kid I would like to thankyou for all of you and all of the prayings and blessings. The good deeds I have done. The good things I do to people. Thank you. I am not calling my wife because I not ready for this actually her date is later and I am fearing all these days. This may be the reason I am lacking and not calling her. And what if she really needs me and want to hear me. Oh my god this is now new emersion of thought. The thing is I have to act and I have to call her. She is in hospital dude. Ok then I finds the news well. What I am wrong to get the information I am getting and she is not ok. Then the reasons are thousands and the solution is simple one just call her and ask her. Again it starts from me and ended to me. What is the reason of my continuously pressing the words in keyboard. It is me. Now once I get light I call her. And when i call her I stop typing then I dont know I type again or not because I know myself well. Lets take a long and deep breathe. Uffffffffff haaaaaaaaaa one time more uffffffffffff haaaaaaa again I am not relief because my mind know she is ok then I don’t need anything more than her safeness. Is this love yes it is. Love is same like this. I am not angry and actually sometime I type in sorrows and literally I feel pain in my finger but the news I heard of her safe being then relief comes now my finger are not paining . It is continuously, Neither I have to go for duty its already off for me and my coordinator is also happy for this. Now I already eat my lunch and have it . The only thing is to go for party and for him I could give party there is literally noone. Feeling positively yeah there are someone who needs the best. Oh my god how can I forget this. Yeah I find and I do it. Yes now i am some how relief but also I am not sure about it because I have the habit of what I do I don’t say and the moment I say I would feel lazy to do it. My thought is big but my step can perform it. Lets see what I do. When I completely in blogging I share I don’t remain without expressing it. Now I feel some lacking in my typing and I am literally thinking but the moment I start to think call them then my finger speed up. What is this. Lets stop it here and see. This is life. Life is beautiful crazy. The uncertainty of life makes it more wonderful. Ok laugh when I can . Stay positive and spread happiness. My happiness is my child it is not only because today I become father it is because the truth is happiness is child. May be next topic this can be possible but I am the only not liking to plan the things and If I am not stoping here then it is late. The moment can go further. Lets she till now they have finished calling and informing the important one. Now again clashes arises. Huh who is the important one. Oh my god I am the father and I am not recieving call either so It means I am waiting call from my wife. I am wrong to make this perception The truth is in its place. She is in pain and maybe she forget I am in duty now. whatsoever I am irrogant. What is being this I want to type irrogant but it shows wrong. Previous I use back space and type another word now also I want to use this arrogant word O now it comes it was arrogant.
Yeah I am arrogant. Hey arrogant just stop typing and call her. Ok sir I will call now because I am feeling so much lighter now. I am the one responsible for everything. My mother in law is also my mother.O my god it is twenty twenty seven and my country time equals to twenty fifteen and it is already late and night. There is no one to handle my family. My mother in law frighten to see the blood. Again the blood of his own daughter, and the other person is my sister in law. She also feels the same and for her safety she don’t have to go through this. And again the relief comes there is my father now. He is handling well. And again as I am not supposed to this what if he is drinking. No matter it can be accepted. He is also very happy to see his granddaughter. When I born he is not there, when my brother born he is not there when my first daughter born he is not there now my second daughter he is there. He is also blessed. I don’t have to go through and let him to go through this. I am sorry father and all the relatives who are going through this because of him.
Now i don’t have option else to stop . My roommate came from duty and disturbing me and me also let him to disturb.. Ok lets see bye bye. Thank you he is continuously asking money for me and I am not listening him. He come so close to me and asking money. I am not literally listening me but he is telling telling me. What a coincedence. Now I don;t have cash with me how can I give. If I have cash with me I give him for my happiness and also for stoping me to typing and for disturbing me. neither I have cash with me nor and I tell him no also and he went out. Now what to do . lets call but also I wouldn’t be happy with calling because actually I want to go there and this my thought process would not end till I stop it and wake up. The time is twenty forty one . let future be future and past be past. Be in present.
I am thankful for staying with me for this longtime. Lets meet on next blog whether it comes or no. Hope for the best.
Thankyou Stay positive, Laugh when you can. Thank you.
Leave a Reply